In her words…

Career History Summary:
Five years Active Duty Army as an MP, 1/2 year State Security, 1/2 year State Counter Drug Task Force, six years Human Resources/Readiness NCO for RSC and eight years Recruiting and Retention NCO.

Can you briefly describe your childhood upbringing?
My childhood is very similar to those growing up in the heart of the Bronx.  It is very common for New York City children to come home to a parentless afternoon. Envision: one sibling cooking, one sibling cleaning, doing homework by yourself – trying your best to do with what you understood in class even though you have no clue what you were supposed to learn. The walks to and from school were polluted with drug dealers and prostitutes.  You tried very hard to avoid dark alleys where you could possibly be rapped. My mother never asked us if we did our homework, she never asked us how was school, she never asked us if we needed help with assignments. She just didn’t have the time, nor did she know very much about what we were learning. My father was a four-hour flight away and had zero contribution to what we were doing outside of the $300 he sent for three children a month.

Are there any childhood contributing factors or events that led you to the success you have today?
The typical New York story includes a single young mother with multiple “baby daddies”, on welfare and food stamps. I was surrounded by it.  For me, this “normal” was not an option and I felt that there had to be a better way. I love my mom and respect her very much but I saw her work really, really hard – sometimes 16 hour long days. I saw her fingers burnt, her back hurt, her feet hurt, and she always seemed so stressed out. I just did not want that for myself. I did not want to live paycheck to paycheck.  I believed that I could find something to ensure I would never see a welfare representative, or ever stand in a food line. I did not even know if that existed or what that would look like. I just believed that there had to be something more.

Can you describe your professional responsibilities?
As a Military Police officer at West Point, I conducted security of the Installation.  I am now retired after a 20-year compiled military career. I currently work as a Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (JROTC) instructor at a high school. I have the privilege of working with students and encourage them to think outside of the box drawn by the education system and their surroundings. Although we teach life skills, I also get to mentor and pray I am an example of the opportunities that are available in our country.  I also get to work with young leaders who already have a sense of direction and help them grow in their current leadership abilities.

What was one of your biggest challenges and how were you able to overcome it?
Many people would like to believe that the glass ceiling does not exist even in the military. This may be true for many companies and organizations and the military. However, I can assure you it does exist. I will only speak to my experience and what I have encountered.  My goal by sharing is to prepare you for what could be challenging situations. You can be the best in the group but the best as a woman tends to come second to even the worst male employee.  I will refer to Sergeant Fail and Sergeant Achieve for an example.  Sgt Fail is a toxic leader, sets their employees up for failure, tears down team cohesion, knows little about their job, is disrespectful towards everyone, has no civilian education, only succeeded when was helped and then failed at their position three years in a row. Then you have Sergeant Achieve who cares for everyone, helps everyone, has the education and benchmarks required, succeeds on their own, always gives 100%, was one of the top three producing salesmen for five years and always created ways to improve the entire organization.  Comparably when you look at these employees, it is a no brainer – you would want Sgt. Achieve.  Unfortunately, I have been a witness to Sgt. Fail out promoting Sgt. Achieve on what I feel complete sexist grounds.  Sgt. Fail is a male and Sgt. Achieve is a female.  What I was able to learn from this experience is you need to know the organization that you want to work for – do your homework, ask questions of current employees. Sometimes you only learn through trial and error. Other times you might learn from someone who has already walked that path.  Although at the time I was upset about the outcomes, I really am grateful for the lesson.

Was there a “fork in the road” decision you came to in life that could have gone extremely wrong? How did you / what helped you to make the better decision?
The first fork in the road was when I joined the military. I had no idea of what I was getting myself into except that I wanted to get out of the city before I became another statistic. The motivation for me was to do better for myself.
The second fork in the road was to retire from the military. I ran into hard times in an organization that changed.  I was not going to compromise or adapt to the reduced standard.  Knowing my true self and having value for myself allowed me to carry out this decision.

What have you sacrificed both professionally and personally at each stage of your career?
Professionally, I sacrificed my upward mobility by not speaking up about the harassment and injustices I faced during the last few years in the Guard. Personally, I sacrificed so much of my children time with me, and in the long run it did not pay off.

How do you balance “domestic life” (wife/motherhood) and a career?
In the past, I may have been out of balance, but I have some to realize that my domestic life comes first. My children come first.  I am raising women and men of the future and that is the most important job that has been given to me. When I am at work; I am at work and I give more than 100% during work hours. Therefore, when I am home, I too, can solely concentrate of my family.

How do you push through your worst times?
My children have been my motivator for the last 19 years.  When I am at a low point, I stay focused on being an example of success and humanity for them.

What are your success habits?
Give anything I am doing 100%. Never be afraid of learning new things. Make sure I am giving those that I am serving my best. Do not compare myself to anyone else. God wrote my story and everyone else has a different journey.

What advice would you give to women trying to achieve your role and responsibilities?
Be the best in the room. No one can take that from you. Never listen to those that want to talk you down from something you want to do, you will probably do it better than they did. You are stronger than you think, sometimes things will hurt but push through and focus on the pay off. Nothing in life is permanent. TRUST GOD, Pray often, he has your whole world in his hands.

As a female leader, what has been the most significant barrier in your career?
A significant barrier in my career was misconstrued reality of the business world.  I grew up believing that I simply needed to get a job and pay some bills.  However, when you are in the business of changing lives, impacting souls, and creating a totally different outcome for people, you need to better understand the reality of your role.
Also, in my early career I understood the steps and requirements to climb the leadership ladder.  So, I checked all the blocks: education, awards, training – literally everything and anything that I could achieve I did it.  But what I came to realize is I was only focused on the military and I did not prepare myself for a career beyond that in the civilian world.

What woman inspires you? Why?
There are many women I have had in my life that inspire me.
My mother, she is a hard worker and imaginative. She can do anything and finds ways to make money with her creativity. My sister, she works with love in her heart. Cynthia, she is kind no matter what the world does to her. Lucianna, she is the smartest in her field. Knows everything and can do anything better than those before and after her. A former leader of mine (CSM), she didn’t put up with the male “garbage”. She called out males as soon as they attempted to talk females down. If she didn’t know something, she would read the entire regulation and know it all in a day. Dallas, she can do anything and then some. There are no mental or physical barriers that exist in her mind. She can do anything. She is strong and knows what she wants. Her determination far exceeds anything I have ever seen.

What advice would you give to the next generation of female leaders?
Be candid, but demand respect. You are always better than you think, and men always think they are better than what they are; so, don’t put up with their garbage. Don’t be emotional – yes, it’s hard but don’t do it. Have a strong male and female team that will have your back. Always have a professional you can talk to. Kick ass everyday no matter what.

What is some advice you would share with young women entering a male dominated profession?
They are just men, they gossip like girl and they are emotional like girls. Just do your job, be your best, be professional, politic a little and find a woman that can give you good advice.

What is the most important characteristic, trait, behavior and/or skill a leader can possess?
The ability to be a kind, empathetic, and approachable professional.

Anything else you would like to add?…
The most important thing I have learned is that you are constantly working towards improving yourself.  Have an open mind, go outside the box, do you, learn things, meet different people, read books and the possibilities are endless.  Life is life, teach yourself to be ready. Everyday learn something new about people, your career path, your organization, pay attention to everything.

Rosemarie Fred
JROTC Instructor
US Army (retired)

For more information or to inquire about a speaking engagement with Rosemarie, contact us now!